The Death Party
Playwright: Amanda Sodhi
December 4, 2006

Characters:

Dead Lady: Middle- Aged Woman, Likes idea of Purgatory
Dead Man A: Elder, Grumpy Man, Likes idea of Hell
Dead Man B: Man in his mid- 30s, Likes idea of Reincarnation
Dead Girl: Cute, Immature, Childish Young- Woman, Likes idea of Heaven
Angellino: Male, Represents Heaven Party (dressed in shimmery white clothes, has shinny silvery wings & hands out flower- petal fans with heaven written in it)
Hellena Devilla: Female, Devil’s Secretary, Representing Hell Party (dressed in bold red, is supposed to be seductive & hands out wine bottles with Hell engraved in it)
Indie Pendant: Represents the Purgatory Party (hands out pendants with Purgatory written)
Maango (Monkey): Representing Reincarnation Party (Hands out bananas with reincarnation stamped on it)
Voice of God
God’s Angels

Setting:

No time, day, or season in particular. A few chairs positioned next to each other in a semicircle. Surroundings depict life after death (i.e., backdrop with clouds, dim lights, fog, etc…)

Scene One:
Characters (Dead Lady, Dead Man A & B, Dead Girl) are sitting on the chairs. They have just died and are waiting to meet God. As they are waiting, they discuss what their death plans are. As they discuss their “plans,” different “party” representatives show up suddenly (as if out of nowhere) holding signs, propaganda, and freebees to get the dead characters to vote to join their party.

Dead Lady: (impatiently and angry) How long do we have to wait?

Dead Man A: (irritated) Do we look like a final exam answer-key, Ms. Inquisitive?

Dead Man B: (defensive) She’s just bored.

Dead Man A: What, and do I look like I’m having a picnic over here to ya?

Dead Girl: You’re so grumpy.

Dead Man A: I’m flattered to hear that.

Dead Man B: God must be pretty busy today.

Dead Lady: It’s not very considerate of Him, you know, to keep us waiting this way. The least He could have done was play some Gospel music to keep us entertained.

Dead Girl: (laughs in a cute manner)

Dead Lady: So where do you guys plan on living, I mean, dieing, I mean staying for the rest of your lives, I mean deaths?

Dead Man A: What do you mean “where?”

Dead Lady: I mean, do you guys plan on going to Heaven or Hell?

Dead Man B: Do we have a choice? (sarcastically) I didn’t know this would be so democratic.

Dead Girl: I vote for Heaven. I think the pink dresses and flower halos are so cute. (giggles)

Angelino shows up in the scene abruptly, gets down on his knees, and hands a flower-petal fan with Vote for Heaven written on it to the Dead Girl.

Angelino: That’s absolutely right my dear (while handing the flower- petal fan to the Dead Girl).

Dead Girl: (moved) Why thank you! But who are you? Are you (with disbelief, in a cute manner) an… an Angel?

Angelino: Sort of my love. I’m social worker of Heaven. The name’s Angelino and I’m a representative of the Heaven Party. So can I go ahead and put your name on the list of Heaven Party members?

Dead Man A: “Heaven Party?” You gotta be joking. Dude, did you steal that costume from the Halloween Costume Shop before dying?

Angelino: (throws a flower petal and Dead Man A) Aah! I appreciate the humor you’ve got there buddy. It’ll take some effort, but you could make an excellent candidate for the Heaven Party.

Dead Man A: Oh God.

Angelino: See, you just uttered the word “God.” At heart, you have the making of a wonderful Heaven Party member.

Dead Man B: (whispers slowly to Dead Lady) Man, this sucks. I hate politics.

Dead Man A: I vote for Sinner’s Paradise.

Dead Lady: You mean… Hell!

Angelino: (looks at Dead Man A with shock and pain and covers mouth with hand as saying) Oo!

Dead Man A: (Nods)

Dead Girl: (with disbelief and shock) Really?

Dead Man A: Hell yes girl.

Hellena Devilla appears in a Red, slinky, slithering dress with a wine bottle.

Hellena Devilla: Excellent choice handsome (opens a wine bottle and hands to Dead Man A while placing hand on his shoulder seductively). Hell is a lot of fun.

Angellino: Stop corrupting these poor souls Hellena.

Dead Girl: Who are you?

Hellena Devilla: I’m Hellena Devilla. I’m the Devil’s secretary and I represent the Hell Party baby.

Dead Girl: (appreciatively) Wow. That’s a really hot outfit you’ve got on.

Hellena Devilla: (laughs) Join the Hell Party hon’, and I promise you miracle makeovers free of cost.

Angellino: (furiously) Hey! You can’t do that! I have you on my Heaven Party list already.

Hellena Devilla: Well I guess you’ll have to make some amendments to your list then.

Angellino: No. You’ve gotta join my Heaven Party. You’ll love it in Heaven. It’s so beautiful. It’s always snowing but it doesn’t feel cold. You’ll find it very pretty my Rose-Petal.

Dead Man A: Are you trying to take her to Heaven or a honeymoon in Switzerland?

Dead Man B: (thoughtful manner) I kinda like the idea of Reincarnation. Do you guys have a Reincarnation Party?

Dead Man A: (grumpily) Thanks for bringing back memories of World Religions class.

Dead Girl: Aaw! That’s so cute. (says as stroking Angellino’s wing) Which animal?

Dead Man B: I haven’t quite decided yet. I’ve always liked Baboons.

Dead Lady: (disgusted) You want to be reborn as a Baboon?! Why don’t you choose to be reborn as another Human Being?

Dead Man A: (snickers) He probably doesn’t have the karma for it.

Dead Lady: Oh…I see. (wiping eyeglasses)

Maango the Monkey enters throwing the banana peels on Dead Man A’s hair while he swallows the remainder of the banana in his mouth.

Dead Man B: (shocked) Oh my GOD! A Monkey!

Angellino: (softly & protesting) See, you said “God!” (Tries to offer him a flower- petal fan with Heaven Party written on it, which Dead Man B pushes aside forcefully)

Maango: The name’s Maango my friend (hands Dead Man A a banana).

Dead Man B: Cool. Pleasure meeting you.

Maango: So how many of ya would like to join the Reincarnation Party? (Takes notes on his note board) You don’t have to be a monkey. There are plenty of other animals you guys can become. And later on, as you move up the karmic scale, you guys could move up to the human category again. Although, you have to be careful not to screw it up too much in your rebirth, or you could move down to an insect.

Dead Man A: (snickers to Hellena Devilla) How the hell could you screw up as a monkey?

Dead Girl: You’ve been rather quiet (Turns to Dead Lady A) What option will you vote for?

Dead Lady: I don’t know. I’d always been part of the Independent Party when I was alive.

Indie Pendant enters with a rather huge pendant around his neck reading “Vote 4 Purgatory.”

Indie Pendant: Never Fear. You’ll have plenty of time to decide what you want in Purgatory. (Puts a smaller version of his pendant around her neck)

Voice of God: You’re all forgetting something…Ha ha ha (Amused, Santa Claus kind of laugh) This is a dictatorship.

Hellena, Angellino, Indie Pendant, & Maango drop the propaganda they are carrying on the floor.

End of Scene One

OPTIONAL END (continue with what follows)

Dead Man A: (snickers to himself) Bush’ll love to hear that.

Angels of God Appear & Begin to Drag Hellena Devilla, Maango, & Indie Pendant outside.

Hellena, Maango, & Indie Pendant: (protest) What?! That’s not fair. We all should get together and overthrow this Supreme Dictator…

Angellino: (smiles) hehehe. Serves you all right.

Voice of God: Angellino. Get back to work and leave this foursome alone.

Angellino: (whines) Aw! Social workers aren’t appreciated anywhere.

Voice of God: (scolding in a parent-like manner) Angellino!...You four will now meet with me so I can tell you my decision…

Angels of God lead Dead Man A & B, Dead Lady & Dead Girl to the Exit.

End of Scene One.